The Best Person for the Job

Ahoy all!

As I watch the contenders’ videos on “The Best Job in the World” website, I am realizing more and more that there are some real God-like creatures out there! Pride aside, I will honour my biggest challenger; beautiful Madge Titwad. By acknowledging her superior strengths and achievements, I can only learn how to become a better person myself.

Madge Titwad revealed:

1. Brain – A fish brain is a slow talking type person - thank God that David Attenborough isn’t one of those people! Long live nature!

2. Face – Saving face while saving fish is a very important responsibility. Just think how many times Jacques Cousteau must have had to be responsible for his face while being the most famous diver ever!

3. Hair – You can’t make it big without big hair – just ask Oprah! With her big hair and big personality she can talk to anyone. She told me, that on her resumé, she writes that she has good interpersonal skills.

4. Mouth – Sometimes a good sense of humour can get you punched right in the kisser! Especially when you say things like "Sarah Palin is way cooler than Tina Fey."

5. Abs – Crocodile Dundee didn’t wake up just to watch TV and eat pizza pops! As we all know, he was incredibly diligent about polishing his knife and surviving the Australian outback, and loose women.

6. Sweat – Nothing will get you further than sweat and tears! You will shed tears of joy when you are splashed with Steve Ballmer’s passionate expressions of enthusiasm; his billion dollar pit sweat – it’ll make you a billionaire!

7. Camera – A great picture is worth a thousand words – so why say anything else!

8. Earth – Nothing beats it! Well…what we don’t know can’t hurt us. But thanks to Ian Wright, the best traveller guy on earth, we know a hell of a lot more about some things we shouldn’t have known in the first place.

9. Pen – To write important stuff down – like don’t forget to feed the fish! Without an expensive Caran D’Ache from the Masion de Haute Ecriture nothing is possible.

10. Underpants – Without ‘em things start to get a little moist. Wonder Woman was always up for a challenge but could always keep her panties on – if only some of us could remember that!

11. Legs – Even if you only have one, you can still run across a country! Go Terry!

12. Dog – Man’s best friend and loyal companion. BFF - up until your “dingo ate my baby!”

Well I suppose it will be a tight race for the win, Madge, but as your biggest fan, I wish you the best of luck! God speed!