Eager Beaver

Ahoy all!

I don’t know about all this blogging business! I have a very unpredictable eye twitch and it has already started spreading down into my right knee. I better tone it down a notch before I become a complete Schizophrenic without my meds. So in toning it down, I have decided to interview two very important figures from Canada and Australia - Beaver and Kangaroo. A little culture puh-leeez!

Marcella: So, which one of you is more important?
Beaver: My picture is on a 5 cent coin and I am on the Hudson’s Bay Company coat of arms. It even says Pro Pelle Cutem which means a skin for a skin!
Kangaroo: Definitely me! My picture is on a dollar coin and they produced a TV series about me called Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Marcella: Do you guys like sports?
Beaver: Yeah. I am the mascot for the Oregon State Beaver football team.
Kangaroo: Yes. I represent the Australian Rugby League, and we are still ranked #1 in the RLIF! Wallee Mullalra Choomooroo Tingal Nah! Nah! Nah! Nah!

Marcella: OK, we are really getting somewhere here…has anyone written a song about you?
Beaver: Of course. It is called The Beaver Song - hugely popular with Girl Scouts.
Kangaroo: Yes, too many to count - the most famous being Tie Me Kangaroo Down.

Marcella: Right, so…who do you hang with?
Beaver: My entire colony.
Kangaroo: The Mob.

Marcella: Really? Anyone ever try to kill you?
Beaver: All the time! They are still looking to kill me in Argentina – and don’t even get me started about the Germans.
Kangaroo: Yes, but not easily. I am a hell of a boxer. However, I do get ran over now and again.

Marcella: Anything you want to mention to an enemy that might be reading this?
Beaver: Yeah, to all you spineless wolves out there…I’m going to drown your asses!
Kangaroo: That’s nothing Beav. Any dirty dingoes out there – I’m going to disembowel your asses!

Marcella: Whooooaaa! This is getting a little out of control now. Any weaknesses you might like to share?
Beaver: Yes Oprah, I am a slow walker.
Kangaroo: And I am slowly going blind.

Marcella: Do you have any fun facts or figures that people would want to know about you?
Beaver: Sure. Apparently my testicles make a great pain reliever.
Kangaroo: I’ve got you beat again, Beav. My scrotum can be made into soccer balls!

Marcella: Wow! Those are probably some things that you shouldn’t have told me! But I would like to thank you for your time. I know you both hate staying awake during the day. One last question: any kids?
Beaver: Kit.
Kangaroo: Joey.