My Incredible Island Mix Tape

Ahoy all!

After I wizz my pants when I find out I have won "The Best Job in the World," I will have to pull myself together and make an island mix tape. There is always the possibility that I will never be rescued from my Hamilton Island responsibilities, so the music I bring better be good!

I know at first I will be very obnoxious about my luck and money, and say things like "baby I got your money" and "gimme what I'm owed!"

I know it is bad form to "chase money" and it just makes me look like a greedy "golddigger," but I will eventually feel a little generous and show off my "money" at the local pub. I buy "one bourbon, one scotch, one beer" for myself and a round of ice water for my friends.

I start bragging about how I am going to the "land down under" and will definitely survive a "hurricane" on "Cantaloupe Island," or was it "Coney Island?"

Everything turns into a "purple haze" and all I can say is "toop toop" and "det snurrar i min skalle." My friends take that as a hint and carry my lucky ass home saying over and over "oye lucky lucky oye!"

I wake up in the morning with a killer headache and "bud the spud" written on my forehead.